Archive for October, 2009
October 9th, 2009
You really do have to wonder sometimes…..
SCENE: The White House Residence – 3:30 A.M EST
White House Chief of Staff : ‘Mr. President? Mr. President! Please sir, wake up.’ (shakes him)
POTUS: ‘Hmm? Mmmfff -Yes? What is it?’
White House Chief of Staff: ‘Bad news sir.’
POTUS: ‘Damnit all! I told the Israelis to hold off!’
White House Chief of Staff: ‘It’s not the Israelis sir.’
POTUS: What then? – ‘The North Koreans lobbing missiles into the ocean again?’
White House Chief of Staff: ‘Worse sir, the Swedes just gave you the Peace Prize.’
POTUS : ‘Too early for jokes, Rahm.’
White House Chief of Staff: ‘No Joke sir. ‘( Hands him newspaper)
POTUS: (Reads headline with incredulous look on his face.)’ Damn! ( Throws paper against wall) ( Dog wakes up and starts barking)’Get Gibbs in here. Now!’
Enter Press Secretary Gibbs.
POTUS: (gesturing at newspaper on floor) ‘ Gibbs, please tell me this is an “Onion” piece.’
Gibbs:’ Afraid not , Mr. President.’
Potus: ( Reaches for cigarette) ‘Damnit Gibbs! Just what the hell are they trying to do to me? I’m trying to pass Health Care!’
Gibbs: ‘I know, Mr. President.’
POTUS: ‘You know what to do?’
Gibbs: ‘I think so, Mr. President.’
POTUS: ‘Are the vultures circling yet?’
Gibbs: ‘Since 3:00 A.M Mr. President.’
POTUS: (sighs) ‘ Okay, get my speech writer in here, then.’
Gibbs: ( Clears throat – looks at floor) ‘Mr. President, you write your own speeches, sir.’
POTUS: ‘Damn it all to Hell and back! Fine. (Puts out cigarette.) Call the press conference. I’ll be over in a minute.’
Sort of writes itself, doesn’t it? Now we all sit back and watch the hysteria for the next week. Meanwhile, if the President has any advisors worth their salt, they are already telling him he has to respectfully decline the prize. This is actually the best strategy all around. Declining the prize shows his proper humility thus further endearing him to the world. It effectively silences his critics that he hasn’t achieved enough yet to warrant such an honour. And , he can use this opportunity to speak to the world about domestic matters at home without seeming to exploit his international goodwill. Win, win, and more win.
Gee, if he plays this right he could actually pass Health Care and the Republicans wouldn’t even know what hit them. Go, POTUS, Go!